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WORKSHOP – Khooni Murga

  • Review by: Ishaan Kumar

Have you ever worried that you are the only idiot who still wanks to screen nudity? Have you ever felt the sudden urge to pass stool at a very social gathering? Have you ever fantasized about that vixen in a ghaghra-choli? Have you ever been chased by a carnivorous, mutant poultry bird?

Have no fear, for you are not alone! Workshop presents, ‘Khooni Murga’, a showcase of all aspects of adolescence ranging from your 1st jerk-off session to nightmares about being disemboweled by the ‘flightless bird from hell’, and everything in between. All this has been specially wrapped into a tight package of memorable metal music and cheeky bouts of crooning. If you’ve ever felt outcast for finding a sexual innuendo in everything, then this album is your new best friend-in waiting.

Alright, enough sales talk. Down to business. This album marks a new pinnacle in Indian metal. Now, bands will not fight to be the most technical, or the most brutal or epic; please welcome the era of comedic metal, brought to you by The Demonstealer (Sahil Makhija-vocals,rhythm guitar), The Rijunator (Riju Dasgupta-bass), The Hamzoid (Hamza Kazi-drums) and The Rajbot (Rajarshi Bhattacharya-lead guitar). Think tight (and sometimes even brutal) metal music with the funniest of tunes and lyrics, and that very evenly sums up ‘Khooni Murga’. The title is a wordplay of the title of a B-grade Hindi movie, and is basically a tribute to everything that an Indian can be ashamed of. The 1st song is ‘She Folked Up My Jazz’, a hard rock piece about lust being a jazz player’s downfall. Its a very promising kick-off to an album, and like a typically good album opener, is a sign of even better things to come. ‘Pudhe Sarka’ (which is Marathi for ‘aage khisakh’) is a humble acknowledgment of a bad day without change on a BEST bus. Unlike the previous track, this one is blazing thrash metal track. Now, the next song as mentioned on the tracklisting, is ‘Chati ke Saath Panga’ but in reality it’s been swapped with the succeeding track ‘I Came’. ‘I Came’ is a song that EVERY male listener will relate to as it glorifies the 1st time a boy masturbates with tongue-in-cheek lyrics like ‘Here I am with a loaded gun,it’s pointed at you baby here I cum’. It also ends with the doomy line ‘and I’m all out of sperm’. ‘Chati ke Saath Panga’ is a unique concept about a certain daaku Kamla Devi who has disturbingly large tits which she uses to terrorize people with. Instrumentally, this song has a very dark undertone and if it wasn’t for the lyrics and vocal melody, it would be very at home on a Demonic Resurrection album.

The track to follow is the very ‘colloquially’ (for want of a better word) titled ‘Garba Gandu’ and as you might have guessed, is about a Gujju looking for pussy on a Garba night. The hallmark of this song is Hamza’s ratta-ta-ta-ta snare that sounds like dandiya drumming. It ALSO has a very provocative Gujarati chorus section with BLAST BEATS! Next up is the very funky recipe ‘How to Make a Demonic Omelet’. The title is quite self-explanatory so I will conveniently move on to the next track. ‘Kothai Doro Cho’ is a dig at a Bengali who feels the sinister urge to deposit what cannot be digested at a social gathering, and is running around looking for a place to do so. It has a very catchy yet heavy tremolo-picked hook and ends with a deadly E-major barrage that sounds like something off a Gojira album. The following track is the one that had made EVERY one clued in to India’s metal scene to log on to YouTube and type ‘bunty aur mallika sherawath’. Similar reactions were sparked by the next track ‘Cookie Monster’, a ballad about fighting a losing battle against sleep while chatting with a female e-pal/pussy hopeful. It has the distinction of being called ‘cool’ by none other than metal’s master of innovation, Mathias Eklundh. The album then ends with the title track, one that has a very death metal sound to it and also has Sahil muttering ‘A Darkness Descends’. Another publicity gimmick, and a pretty solid one at that.

All throughout this album can be found references to the penis, though not in an epic ‘I’m the god-king with the longest and tightest rod’ manner that Nile follow, but instead in a way very similar to what teenagers across the country refer to it as. The production is brilliant and so are the references to Demonic Resurrection. It also comes with a DVD containing over 2 hours of band footage, something that requires a separate review.

So, if you ever feel that your day is going bad, just pop in this CD and ensure a happy state of mind for the duration that it runs. Workshop claim no responsibility whatsoever for a return to a bad mood afterwards.